Directed by Andrew Jordan
Written by Andrew Jordan & Barry J. Gillis
Starring Barry J. Gillis, Amber Lynn, Doug Bunston, Bruce Roach, Patricia Sadler, Paul W. Paschul
THINGS is not going to be for everyone. I’m going to come right out and say that. If you like your horror slickly produced and cast with top tier actors directed by cream of the crop directors, go right ahead and move on to the next review. But unlike most other genres, horror doesn’t have to have a big budget to be effective. In fact, in the right hands, the smaller the budget, the more frightening/creative/realistic the horror is. Now, THINGS may not be the most original or well thought out concept, but there’s something about this film that is both endearing and a little bit creepy that entices me to encourage those who like their horror with a little stank on it to seek this Intervision release out.
THINGS is your typical cabin on the woods story where a pair of guys from the city visit their friend in the middle of the woods only to find that it is overrun by monstrous rat-spiders with steel teeth. Roughly edited into sections that don’t always make a lot of sense, the narrative ping-pongs back and forth between a news broadcast (hosted by porn star Amber Lynn) and the cabin story.
Everything about this film reeks of that fine amateur scent from the sloppy editing to the roughly synched sound dub to the slack-jaw acting to the loose narrative. But behind all of that, there are some effects that are worth mentioning that are both as gross as they come and somewhat impressive given the apparent limited budget. It’s obvious all of the money went into the effects work. The rat-spiders are damn impressive, although obvious puppets and the numerous scenes of gore and torture show that the filmmakers at least knew how to make a person wince.
Again, this is a rough looking film, but one with a heart that is twisted and in deep, deep love with the genre. THINGS is the type of film you play at a Halloween party if you want to set the mood to low fi horror or something you might see playing on the video screen in a late night bar. I found it to be a lot of fun and filled with both ambition and respect for horror, but there will be some unable to look past THINGS’ microscopic budget to enjoy it.