Directed by Charlie Vaughn
Written by David S. Sterling (story), Jeremiah Campbell (screenplay)
Starring Christian Ferrer, Jason Lockhart, Dylan Vox, & Jess Allen

Ahem…

Well…
Ooohhh-kay.

Well, I have to say that VAMPIRE BOYS is not your typical horror film. It’s got vampires in it. And boys. And most of the boys don’t wear shirts. And though I didn’t know until about three minutes in, turns out it’s a gay horror film. Which is fine. It’s just that…well, I had no idea what I was getting into when I slid this disk into my DVD player, though the four shirtless men posing on the DVD cover should have clued me in.

I think the makers of VAMPIRE BOYS intentions are in the right place. They want to tell a typical vampire story set against the backdrop of the gay lifestyle. The problem is that the script is not the best. Exposition is lobbed around clumsily over coffee on the veranda and sunbathing (shirtless of course) in the grass. Everything is filmed in a soft filter. Of course, these shirtless vamps aren’t affected by sunlight. And pretty much all of the stuff that makes vampires vampires (the weaknesses, that is) doesn’t really effect them. Scenes seem to be threaded together only with the intentions of the vampire boys to take their shirts off and take the shirts off of their boy victims and then make out. A love story is told here. Jasin, the leader of the vampire boys is about to reach his hundredth year birthday and must find a chosen one to drink from. He’s been trying to find the one for quite a while, but he’s been looking at the wrong sex. He drops his intended wench when he crosses paths with Caleb, a farmboy from Ohio who never fit into his hometown. Soon the two fall in love, but one of the other vampire boys doesn’t approve of the leaders choice in mates. Lots of tension and shirtlessness ensues.

There’s a lot of gay innuendo flung around. There’s no blood to speak of. Not a lot of action, though two of the vampires hiss at each other repeatedly in one scene. In fact, aside from a lot of talking and shirtless posing, there’s not much else going on here. I guess if you’re gay and like vampires, VAMPIRE BOYS is something you might want to check out. It just wasn’t my thing.