SANTA JAWS (2018)
Directed by Misty Talley
Written by Jake Kiernan
Starring Reid Miller, Courtney Lauren Cummings, Jim Klock, Carrie Lazar, Arthur Marroquin, Miles Doleac, Haviland Stillwell, Hawn Tran, Scott Allen Perry, Ritchie Montgomery, Lindsey Michelle, Creek Wilson, Sherri Eakin, Dylan Westfall, Danny Cosmo
When aspiring comic book creator Cody (Reid Miller) receives a magic pen from his grandpa, he writes a story about a killer shark wearing a Santa hat killing his family. It turns out the story comes true and the shark, all decked out in holiday décor, begins his murder spree. When Cody loses his magic pen, he scrambles to find it before his gory comic comes true and his family ends up in the belly of the shark.
SYFY has been playing SANTA JAWS as part of its holiday horror flicks. In no way do I think this is a good film. But it turns out, SANTA JAWS is one of those good bad films. SANTA JAWS has terrible CG effects and even a worse looking CG shark. The thing is, the shark; sporting a Santa hat worn at a jaunty angle upon his fin, wrapped in Christmas lights, and later sporting a unicorn horn made out of a giant candy cane, looks goofy as hell and I laughed at it every time I saw it on screen chomping down on the cast. It’s the simple things in life that I find the most fun and it turns out, a shark with a Santa hat on its fin is one of the more simpler pleasures I have come across in quite some time.
The acting is actually not as horrendous as one might think. Reid Miller has a young Eddie Furlong circa T2 quality that makes for a decent protagonist to follow. The rest of the cast are equally capable with SCARE PACKAGE’s Hawn Tran playing Corey’s best bud, FOUND FOOTAGE 3D’s Scott Allen Perry as a self important comic shop owner, and THE DINNER PARTY’s Miles Doleac as a cool uncle. Unfortunately, the script isn’t as goofy as the premise or as clever as it thinks it is. Much of the jokes fall flat and don’t even register in the laugh-o-meter.
Still, this is a straight forward, goofy as hell movie about a shark with a Santa hat on its fin eating someone about once every ten minutes of the movie. Instead of the JAWS theme song, jingle bells are heard when the shark approaches. It’s drawn out when the protagonists mix a bucket full of chum made of ground up Christmas cookies and eggnog. SANTA JAWS is lowbrow cinema, but it’s my kind of lowbrow cinema. Catch this goofy flick if you can this holiday season.