RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM (2020)
Directed by Jeff Kirkendall, Mark Polonia
Written by Jeff Kirkendall
Starring Danielle Donahue, Nico Bryant, Mel Heflin, Marie DeLorenzo, James Kelly, Jeff Kirkendall, James Carolus, Tim Hatch, Titus Himmelberger, Jamie Morgan, Corey Nevills, Drew Patrick, Jennie Russo, Paul Turano, Ken Van Sant
30 years after the farm got splattered, the farm changes ownership to a young gal and her friends who inherited the land. Upon arrival, it’s clear that there is something off with the place, but that doesn’t stop the kids from partying hard and having the sex. Little do they know, Alan is still kicking around the farm, murdering and eating anyone who enters the property.
While the original SPLATTER FARM showed the ingenuity of youth, RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM highlights what director Mark Polonia (who shares the directing job with writer Jeff Kirkendall) has become in the interim. Polonia has lead the way when it comes to schlocky, no budget horror through the years with over 60 films under his belt. It seems more energy was put into RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM than most of Polonia’s latest ventures, but that still doesn’t mean it’s good. It’s not. But that’s what makes it so fun. RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM is low fi goodness and I know some of you readers love that sort of stuff. I myself try to separate the low budget look from the love of the genre and by doing that, I found a lot to enjoy in this good, bad movie. This one is not for film snobs. Those who say, “This is something I could have made.” just don’t get it. The point is, you didn’t make this. Polonia did and he used everything he could to make it. For me, that’s something worth crowing about.
It’s funny comparing the teenage-made SPLATTER FARM to RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM in that as kids, the Polonia Brothers most likely weren’t able to chat up local gals to be in the movie (they weren’t the hunkliest of kids, if you know what I mean), but Polonia the adult can toss a few bucks at some gals to take off their tops and this modern sequel gets the nudity the Polonia Brothers most likely dreamed of. There are numerous gratuitous boobage shots here and Polonia lingers on these scenes almost as much as he does the in-your-face DIY gore. RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM lives up to its name in terms of this gore and it’s still pretty rudimentary stuff, yet just as effective as it was in the original.
There is some growth in terms of story and filmmaking with this newest installment of the epic story of Splatter Farm. With so many films made in the interim, one would hope Polonia would pick up a trick or two. Still, Polonia maintains that no budget quality that his films had all those years ago. I have to give it to Polonia. He makes film. Not necessarily good ones. But I was never unentertained by RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM. The sheer love of horror and moviemaking shines through all of the rough edge. Fans of lowbrow, low fi, and no budget horror are going to put RETURN TO SPLATTER FARM on their must-see list.