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ACCIDENT (2017)

Directed by Dan Tondowski
Written by Dan Tondowski
Starring Stephanie Schildknecht, Roxane Hayward, Tyrone Keogh, Keenan Arrison, Karl Thaning

While ACCIDENT keeps the danger going pretty much throughout the entire film, I don’t know what’s more brainless, the story itself or the actors involved.

When two dippy twenty-somethings (Stephanie Schildknecht and Roxane Hayward) decide taking a bus to a weekend concert is totes lame and their boytoys don’t show up to drive them there, they decide hitchhiking is a good idea. After being nearly run over by a passing car, the two gals go against their better judgment and accept a ride from two hunky guys because they’re cute and have a cool sportscar (of course). But when one of the guys tries to make unwanted moves on one of the girls, the scuffle disrupts the driver and they go careening off a cliff, landing on the roof of the car, and pinning them inside. For the rest of the film, the survivors of the crash try one thing after another to get out of the car and to safety.

The main problem with this film is that the entire cast make countless stupid moves. From standing in the road wearing headphones with their back to oncoming traffic to trusting complete strangers to give them a ride, these girls are just plain dumb. In order to fill the hour, even stupider moves are required such as a botched tracheotomy, which seems to immediately heal itself soon after it is done to the girls trying to use their bare hands to pull broken shards of glass IN TOWARDS THEM instead of away from them as they try to break free. But it’s not just the gals. The guys are just as dense. Turns out these guys aren’t good dudes at all and decide it’s a good idea to borrow a sportscar that is not theirs for the weekend. When the car’s owners show up, one of them prefers to gloat and discourse rather than shoot the people point blank. And let’s not forget the gunfight between a machine gun in a helicopter and a guy with a handgun on the ground where the helicopter hovers about twenty feet away from them. Add a scene at the very end which basically undercuts all of the efforts for the survivors to survive and you have a film that will leave your forehead bruised from all of the headslapping.

Director/writer Dan Tondowski has a style, I guess. He captures the action decently, evne when it’s dumb. But the story, also by Tondowski is shallow and dumb. Instead of getting to know these girls and try to get the viewers to root for them, Tondowski prefers to linger creepily on the girls bending over a gas station bathroom sink in their underwear. That’s about all the depth this one has. If you’re looking for a no-brainer of a action thriller, I guess ACCIDENT fits the bill. But it’s just too dumb for me to bear.