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HELL’S KITTY (2018))

Directed by Nicholas Tana
Written by Nicholas Tana
Starring Nicholas Tana, Doug Jones, Michael Berryman, Nina Hartley, Courtney Gains, John Franklin, Dale Midkiff, Kelli Maroney, Victoria De Mare, Lynn Lowry, Chanel Ryan, Nina Kate, Lisa Younger
Find out more about this film here

Watching HELL’S KITTY is like walking through the celebrity autograph section at a horror convention. It is filled with all sorts of recognizable faces who starred in films we all know and love. It’s just too bad the film has no story at all. Just one note played over and over and over again.

Nick (writer/director Nicholas Tana) has a cat that may be possessed by a demon or the Devil himself. This is evidenced by the cat attacking anyone and everyone who dares get close to Nick or enters his apartment. Nick’s cat Angel attacks every girlfriend Nick tries to woo and anyone he seeks out to try to do something about the finicky puss.

The premise isn’t a bad one. It’s kind of a fun premise to sprout a comic strip from. Sort of like GARFIELD except instead of eating lasagna and annoying his owner Jon, the cat scratches, maims, and murders anyone his owner is interested in. The problem is that while it is a fun premise, that’s all there is to this film. There’s really no story at all. Just one horror actor paraded in after another to meet their ends at the claws of Angel. You need more than a fun premise to make a movie. A storyline is needed and HELL’S KITTY simply has none.

Sure it’s fun to see CHILDREN OF THE CORN actors Courtney Gains and John Franklin act like grown up versions of their characters from the film. Sure it’s awesome to see Lynn Lowry and especially the scrumptious Kelli Maroney again and marvel at how age doesn’t seem to affect these actresses. Sure it’s cool to see SHAPE OF WATER’s Doug Jones, THE HILLS HAVE EYES’ Michael Berryman, and PET SEMETERY’s Dale Midkiff act out a line or two before being swiped out by the killer cat. But all of these appearances highlight is how good they are in their respective movie roles, offering nothing really much for them to do in HELL’S KITTY themselves but pop on screen and then die.

So if you’re looking for that horror con experience and don’t want to pay to attend the actual horror con, check out HELL’S KITTY. Unfortunately, that’s the only reason you should check it out.

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