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HALLOWEEEN PUSSY TRAP KILL KILL (2017)

Directed by Jared Cohn
Written by Jared Cohn
Starring Richard Grieco, Sara Malakul Lane, Margaret O’Brien, Dave Mustaine, Randal Malone, Paul Logan, Demetrius Stear, Lauren Parkinson, Nicole Sterling, Kelly Lynn Reiter, Kelly McCart, Tristan Ott, Tim Casper, David Oakes, Jed Rowen, Kelly Erin Decker, Zahra Susan Ingersoll, Tasha Tacosa, Ashley Franke, Amanda Ruth Ritchie, Deja Soufka, Micheal Robinson Jr., John Nikitin, Strange Dave, Michael Schwibs, Chris Prange
Find out more about this film here

Jared Cohen (director of such off-kilter or simply bad films such as LITTLE DEAD ROTTING HOOD, THE HORDE, DEATH POOL, DEVIL’S DOMAIN, and THE DOMICILE) is at it again with HALLOWEEN PUSSY TRAP KILL KILL. If you’re looking for something to compare this film to, I’d say think Rob Zombie’s 31 but take away all of the genuine grunge, actual macabre atmosphere, genre film cast, and rapid fire editing. I wasn’t even much of a fan of 31, but compared to this film, it’s SPARTACUS…the old one, that is.


Sara Malakul Lane is Amber Stardust the front woman of an all girl punk band who happens upon the wrong place to have their van break down and end up trapped in a house filled with three “terror” rooms. Once locked in the house, the band must kill one of their number in order to make their way out of one room and into the other. Meanwhile, a madman in a wheelchair voiced by Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine controls their every move. Who will live? Who will die? You won’t care.

Cohen adds to his already unimpressive list of horror films by ripping off Rob Zombie’s film completely. But while 31 is actually pretty effective in unleashing the chaos when the monsters attack, HALLOWEEN PUSSY TRAP KILL KILL doesn’t even seem to try to fool anyone that this film is just filmed in a warehouse and populated with a cast of Valley kids. The characters lack any likable or even distinguishable details about them, except for the one who almost gets raped—but she dies early. The band is outfitted in the most unconvincing punk costumes I’ve seen and it seems as if the costumer of this one has never seen a punk concert in their life. With nary a tattoo on their chalk white skins, the band looks like a bunch of girls going out as punk rockers for Halloween than the real deal. The music is god awful as well.

On top of that, there really isn’t much of a story here. The film opens in the Middle East as a war vet gets his face shaved off by an Isis terrorist. That’s supposed to be the man in the wheelchair who captures the band SAW style, I guess. And once in the warehouse, the girls turn on each other way too quickly. It’s not like any discord between the band was interspersed early on to follow up with the turncoating going on—that would mean actual foreshadowing and it appears that’s a bit too much over Mr. Cohen’s head. Add in an appearance by Richard Grieco who looks more like Motley Crue’s Mick Mars now than Mick Mars does and the use of an actual deformed person that made me feel downright sick at how exploitative it was and this is an arduous film to endure.

I feel bad picking on Cohen, but his films just seem to get worse and worse and there really seems to be little insight into how to improve the craft from one to the next. I don’t know why the director/writer/actor has been able to churn out all of these films in the last few years. I don’t know who he knows, or what kind of pictures he has tucked away in a vault somewhere that he keeps getting the funding to make these films, but I sincerely hope Cohen slows down and learn some storytelling, pacing, editing, acting, all of the above basics before venturing into his next film. I really do hope someday I’ll watch a Jared Cohen film and actually like it, but HALLOWEEN PUSSY TRAP KILL KILL isn’t that film.