SAND SHARKS (2011)

Directed by Mark Atkins
Written by Cameron Larson, Joe Benkis
Starring Corin Nemec, Brooke Hogan, Eric Scott Woods, Gina Holden, Julie Berman , Vanessa Lee Evigan, Nick Hogan, Robert Pike Daniel
Check out the trailer here!!

I have to admit, I have a soft spot for shark films. No matter how ludicrous or poorly made, there’s something about the monster in the water with all of the teeth and splashing that gets me on the edge of my seat every time. Now, nothing will compare to JAWS. I know that. But I still hold out hope that one of these times, a film will come along and hit me on a visceral level that that film does every time I watch it.

SAND SHARKS is not that film, though it’s pretty clear that the filmmakers behind the film and the actors in front of the camera and being eaten by the shark have all seen the JAWS. References to JAWS permeate this entire film, even down to the basic story structure which involves a quiet beach town keeping a beach open despite recent attacks leaving a trail of dead bodies. There’s even a crusty seaman on hand to offer tales of sharky woe and an intimate knowledge of the beast, as well as characters such as a brainy scientist whose warnings are never taken seriously, a concerned lawman who feels responsible for it all, and a money hungry mayor and showman who will do anything to keep the beaches open. The only thing different about this film from JAWS and all of its knockoffs is that the toothy predators skim through the sand as well as the water, making them doubly dangerous.

Let’s not even try to go into the science and physics of the shark’s ability to swim through solid earth. Yes, it’s implausible, but if it works for TREMORS, I guess it can work here. Like the worms in TREMORS, the sharks are attracted to sound–a fact that is used to the heroes’ advantage numerous times. About as much logic is applied to the sharks’ tunneling ability as to the science in this one as the marine biologists and big brains come up with one hare-brained scheme after another to take on the sharks. Both TREMORS and JAWS worked because of their smart scripts no matter how crazy the idea of a serial killing shark or a giant earth-tunneling worm is. SAND SHARKS lacks in this type of skillful screenwriting and doesn’t seem to have the inclination to even shroud the sharks’ abilities in some kind of scientific fact. But what SAND SHARKS lacks in knowhow, it makes up with one corny joke after another.

Though this isn’t a Roger Corman-produced camp fest, it is as campy as it comes with self-effacing jokes made at its own expense as well as blatant rip-offs of JAWS-isms such as “We’re gonna need a bigger beach!” The humor is attempted often throughout and though most of the attempts are groaners, I have to admit that they were kind of fun to endure.

The film stars Corin Nemec (who most recognize from SUPERNATURAL, but I remember from PARKER LEWIS CAN’T LOSE) as a slimy showman who will stop at nothing to keep his moneymaking party going despite the sharks’ tendency to burst from the sand and eat people. Brooke Hogan shows up as the brainy scientist, as does her brother Nick. Interestingly enough, this is the daughter of Hulk Hogan’s second shark adventure as she was last seen taking on a shark with two heads in the appropriately titled TWO-HEADED SHARK ATTACK.

I found SAND SHARKS to be brainless fun. Whereas other films try to fool us with bad CGI, at least the CGI is relatively decent here (or maybe the contrast with the sand made the effects look more believable). There’s a decent amount of blood later in the film and I have to say it was fun watching the shark bursting from the sand in random places despite how ludicrous the concept was. Points are given to this one in its less than subtle references to the subgenre of film it spawned from. Not quite the pig in shit campiness of PIRANHA 3D or the grindhouse fun of BLOOD BEACH, SAND SHARKS is a brainless yet somewhat fun romp despite itself and serves as the bastard son of TREMORS and JAWS which harmlessly tells jokes in the corner making fun of itself yet pales in comparison to its parents.