TWO-HEADED SHARK ATTACK (2012)

Streaming on Tubi!
Directed by Christopher Ray
Written by Edward DeRuiter (story), H. Perry Horton (screenplay)
Starring Carmen Electra, Charlie O’Connell, Brooke Hogan, Gerald Webb, David Gallegos
Find out more about this film here!

I shouldn’t have had so much fun with this film, but I couldn’t help myself. The concept of a two-headed shark with each head fighting one another for a meal is such an inane premise but somehow, some way, it just worked for me. Though I have criticized films like DINOSHARK, SHARKTOPUS, and MEGACROC VS DINOGATOR, the filmmaker of TWO-HEADED SHARK ATTACK seems to have learned from their mistakes of the past and improved upon the concept by 1) not taking itself too seriously, 2) not relying so much on CGI, and 3) returning to practical effects.

Though the actors themselves play things straight, the filmmakers know this is a ludicrous film. Little by way of depth of character is given to this cast. The only requirement seems to be that they look good in a bikini. There are way too many people on this boat even for a mini-yacht. The “nautical science” being taught to this ship full of bikini-clad students by Charlie O’Connell is stuff torn straight from a wiki article. The story serves only to set people up in the water just for them to be torn to shreds by the two-headed monster. I practically got dizzy from rolling my eyes at the lame humor and even lamer drama, but I don’t care and the filmmakers didn’t seem to either.

This film is about one shark head fighting another shark head for meals. Every time one of the kids is eaten, I couldn’t help but chuckle as they are torn to shreds by the greedy tooth machines. Though past SyFy-esque endeavors have championed their amateur CGI like a prize hen, director Christopher Ray cleverly covers a lot of the seams of this CGI with waves, bubbles, and splashes. The result is a shark that isn’t utterly, laughably cartooned in. Mixed with the use of practical effects for many of the close encounters with the sharks and you have a pretty effective shark horror film. Never do we get an explanation for the shark’s bi-cranial deformity. He just shows up and starts chomping. The explanation doesn’t matter and the filmmakers don’t try to bore us with any. They just fill this film with bikinis and sharks and sharks eating bikinis.

The final moments of the film throw all logic out the window. In the middle of the ocean, a woman tries to light a wet shirt on fire as a fuse to blow up a can of gasoline the shark has caught in one of its mouths. And for some reason, she doesn’t seem to understand that you can’t light wet stuff on fire. But she tries her hardest any old way.

Charlie O’Connell does his best here as the lead. There’s not much for him to do other than scream out orders, kiss Carmen Electra, and look constipated, but he does all three well. Carmen Electra is utterly useless and serves only to kill three minutes of screentime literally lounging on a boat in her bikini set to leftover BAYWATCH music. Brooke Hogan (daughter of the Hulkster) shows promise as an actress and even pulls off a daring (yet impossible) battle with the two headed fish. But again, none of this matters. With a name like TWO-HEADED SHARK ATTACK you aren’t expecting Oscar nods. Expect bloody shark fun and you’ll get it. Though this isn’t a great movie by a longshot, it’s definitely better than most stuff you expect to see on SyFy.

Check out the trailer here!!