MAD HEIDI (2022)

Available On Demand, digital download and Bluray from Raven Banner!
Directed by Johannes Hartmann, Sandro Klopfstein.
Written by Johannes Hartmann, Sandro Klopfstein, Gregory D. Widmer.
Starring Alice Lucy, Casper Van Dien, Max Rüdlinger, David Schofield, Kel Matsena, Almar G. Sato, Pascal Ulli, Kaspar Weiss, Katja Kolm, Rebecca Dyson-Smith, Andrea Fischer-Schulthess, Julia Föry, Jacqueline Fuchs, Leon Herbert, Dieter Friedli, Werner Biermeier, Dominique Jann, Corey Burton as the Trailer Narrator!
Find out more about this film here!!

Heidi (Alice Lucy) would have been delighted to grow up in the hills of Switzerland, canoodling with her secret boyfriend Goat Peter (Kel Matsena) and yodeling through the day on her simple farm. But when Goat Peter’s goat cheese business is executed by the Swedish government for illegal distribution of unsanctioned cheese, Heidi is arrested and taken to a female prison for cavorting with the enemy of the state. But in that penitentiary, Heidi’s anger grows into an inferno of rage and through some hard time in the pen and an overlong montage of training with warrior nuns, Heidi stages a one-woman war against Big Cheese and the President of Switzerland played by Casper Van Dien.
Just the trailer for MAD HEIDI would fit neatly in the trailer montage between PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF and the movie itself would play greatly as a double feature with modern grindhousers MACHETE, HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, BLACK DYNAMITE, or PSYCHO GOREMAN. If you find any of the aforementioned films bring a smile to your face, you just might be the type of deviant a film like MAD HEIDI is looking for. While heavy on the comedy, MAD HEIDI keeps the pace fast as it is telling a story that had been told many times before in women’s prison exploitation films before. There’s the initial crime where the hero is delicate and naive, then the extended sequences focusing on the ardors of prison life that forges our hero into harder stuff, and finally the big escape where the hero uses these skills to overtake the oppressors. The difference is that the film never takes itself too seriously. The actors playing the parts never wink at the camera, but the situations they face are absolutely ludicrous.

There is an overwhelming attention to one simple thing in MAD HEIDI and that’s cheese. The filmmakers think cheese and everything that goes with it is funny. And you know what, I do too. Just saying the word cheese is fun and causes me to chuckle heartily. So instead of drugs, cheese is the underground substance threatening the government’s stability. Instead of fighting for civil rights and liberties, the populace protest against cheese regulation. Modes of torture, cheese. Every meal served in prison, cheese. Methods of weaponry, well, Heidi sports an awesome giant axe, but she does make Swiss cheese of her enemies with it. If you don’t find the word cheese funny, well, you might want to skip this one, because that is the oft used punchline of the entire movie.

What makes MAD HEIDI so much fun is how serious the stakes are. The fight over cheese regulation is dire for the people of Switzerland and one step outside of the party line means gruesome death. The film plays it safe for a few moments at he beginning, offering up a mass slaughter in the opening moments that is more tactfully orchestrated. But MAD HEIDI shows its bloody cards beginning with the over the top and gory death of Goat Peter as his head is utterly exploded by a missile fired from a crossbow at close range. After that, from the scenes of torture in the prison to Heidi’s march of rebellion against her cheesy oppressors, MAD HEIDI goes full on gore with people being split in half, decapitations, people being riddled with bullets, and gallons of blood spattering in all directions. Yes, it’s an excessive amount and I loved every grossly comedic moment of the carnage.

Alice Lucy really stands out with star potential as Heidi. She’s a little stiff in places, but honestly, hers and the acting of her co-stars are leagues better than the acting chops of most of the cast in exploitation films of old. Lucy is also quite easy on the eyes, making every moment she’s on screen a good one. Caspar Van Dien also shines as the truly bent President of Switzerland. He’s a megalomaniac who is obsessed with order and cheese, sometimes not in that order, who has his cheese, milk, and chocolate delivered to him by a topless handmaiden. It was a blast seeing Van Dien barking orders and laughing maniacally, relishing in every ounce of evil he doles out.

MAD HEIDI could have pushed the envelope a but further in my opinion. While the comedy never stops, the film shies away from going full exploitation with very little nudity and I could have used a few more segments of ultra-gore to seal the tone of the film. But aside from that, MAD HEIDI is a wonderful celebration of bullets, blood, the occasional boob, and of course, cheese.
Check out the trailer here!!