Writer: Scott Snyder
Artist: Greg Capullo
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Masked Man

The cavalcade of DC insanity lumbers along with DARK NIGHTS: METAL #2. The good news is the plot is finally explained- I think. As I assume there is more too it, than just a demon wants to A: Destroy the world / universe / multiverse; or B: rule the world / universe / multiverse. Leading us on this all things DCU adventure is the popular BATMAN team: Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo. Who previously gave us the Court of Owls, Faceless Joker and Robot Bat-Gordon.

Let’s just jump right into the spoilers, shall we. So something terrible and beyond imagination is heading our way. As outlined in Hawkman’s journal, it’s a demon for the Dark Multiverse. It involves pre-civilization clans, which somehow exist to this day, including the Waynes being apart of the ‘Bat Clan’ (all kinda based on Darkseid sending Batman into caveman time during the FINAL CRISIS). So, as seen from space, bat symbols are showing up on the world. Meanwhile, the Justice League is still hunting down Batman, after he stole piece of Nth metal from Hawkgirl. You see Batman has been researching the connection between special metals and Dark Multiverse (although he had no idea what the Dark Multiverse was until now). Being unsure of everything going on, Batman refused to tell the rest of the Justice League about it (I guess that makes sense?). So they are left to chasing him down to figure out what is going on. After the Justice League throws out the oldest frick’n Batman cliché of all time (seriously Snyder, seriously!?), “He’s just one man!” Batman eludes the League, with help from his extended Bat-Family. Which now included Clayface. Seems Batman has told Clayface everything he didn’t want to tell the Justice League (well that’s just weird). And that is: throughout Snyder’s BATMAN run, Batman has been dosed with special metal: Electrum, Dionesium, Promthium and Nth. Once he is coated with one more metal, Batmanium (I sh!t you not), the demon Barbatos can
enter our multiverse.

Elsewhere, Hawkgirl figures out that Batman is headed to the Tomb of Prince Khufu (Hawkman’s ancient Egyptian self) to get Hawkman’s mace. Armed with baby Darkseid #babycanon (no frick’n idea how Batman got his hands on him), Batman plans to go back in time and kill Barbatos before this all started (seems the nth metal mace can do that). Ok, now this next bit is hard to explain, but here I go. Before Batman can do anything, the Justice League find him, no idea how. Maybe Hawkgirl told them, he would be at Prince Khufu’s tomb- only this isn’t Prince Khufu’s tomb, because Hawkgirl said she destroyed it years ago. And the Court of Owls, who have been working for Barbatos since forever, forged clues to make Batman think the Tomb of Hath Set (Hawkman’s original archnemesis) was the Tomb of Prince Khufu. So everyone is actually in the Tomb of Hath Set. Now, how Hawkgirl and / or the Justice League figured out this is where Batman would be, is beyond me. Either way, it’s a trap and the doorway to the Dark Multiverse is opened. Say, guess what happens to the loyal Court of Owls members? Yup- they were all killed by the Dark Multiverse’s ‘Batman League of Evil” (go fig, right). Oddly enough, it doesn’t seem that Barbatos came with ’em. Hmmm, maybe Batman actually is Barbatos!

Damn! When did crossover events get so convoluted! Now that Snyder is (mostly) done playing hide the plot or JJ’s Mystery Box, if you prefer, METAL appears to be rapidly becoming a Michael Bay film. It’s filled with screaming and running and explosions, and nothing really makes sense. Just how does pouring metal on Batman open a portal to the Dark Mulitverse?! I also find Batman not trusting the Justice League to help him, ridiculous. And all the peripheral plot pieces of DC metal, caveman clans, Challenger’s Mountain just dropped on Gotham City, and the evil all Batman Justice League (complete with Batman-Doomsday), just plain goofy and incredulous. Also any writer using the concept of baby Darkseid should just be banned from writing DC Comics period. But, that’s doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy watching the Transformers punch it out in downtown L.A.

Before I give it a rest, I’ll mention the art. Greg Capullo does a decent enough job drawing all of it though. Overall, I find it inferior to the work he did on REBORN, but it’s all good work. He’s a fine choice for a crossover event.

Still in recent years DC events have been bombastic and lacking in any true writing sophistication. As I’ve said, a “Michael Bay film”, and DARK NIGHTS: METAL seems to be no different. So if you enjoyed FOREVER EVIL, DARKSEID WAR, SUPERMAN: DOOMED, and JUSTICE LEAGUE VS SUCIDE SQUAD, then you will love DARK NIGHTS: METAL. If you didn’t like those, then you should probably stay away from this.